Annals of Aldamere

Cave of the Cooked Food God

Mr. Dwight, Khiron, Thorne, Marcel, and Olis

I’m never quite certain how things end up the way they do. But there we were, trying to break open some sort of DOE site in the ruins of Aimseyeohwa – somewhere in that nebulous area not quite controlled by the Hawkeye Empire, or left to rage and wreckers outside of it. The weird little muties called it the Cave of the Cooked Food God, or some shit. Fucking great. We seemed to have deactivated most of the external defenses (don’t ask how, I’m not sure I recall). But the vault door required some sort of pass-key. The weird girl,Thorne, claimed that the ancient spirit she was channeling could get us past the door – but we would need to reconfigure the ident cards the muties had given us at some OTHER Ancient Site. It seemed like a ruse to get us to leave, not sure why. But then again I’m not sure Thorne is anything but some sort of very deluded lunatic. Half of what she says is 100% horse shit the other half is so crazy that it can’t be credited. I’ve seen these “readers” at other Ancient Sites and they are difficult to spoof – but not impossible. Usually I know ahead of time and bring a Cracker, not a talent we are currently gifted with. I thought maybeKhiron had some faculty – but he gave his usual blank look. Damned fly boy. The rest of the Aldemari (them so strange foreign folks) were even more baffled. I reckoned I could try some jiggery-pokery, but most of what I do in that regard is to make holes in things or transcend space and time – ain’t none of that gonna be terribly useful in this sitch. I turned away for a second to confer with Justus about maybe rigging a door buster, and suddenly Thorne has us in. So that is neat. Not sure what happened, something to do with spirits. Why is it always fuckin’ spirits with that girl? Ain’t we got enough problems with the living? Douche-baggery on an epic scale.

So, in we go. Pretty standard layout. The important shit is going to be down and probably under further security. Fuckin’ Ancients and their preoccupation with burying things deep in the ground. Ain’t like it made a big fuckin’ difference as far as I can tell. But salvage is salvage. Or in this case, we need to figure out what the fuck happened at SITE 109. No way old Doc Cartweight can avoid us forever. And no way I can continue to put off Mr. Caville. More douche-baggery. There is shit in the complex, but down we go.

And then things get weird.

Big fuckin’ open area, lined with gantries, conduit, and all sorts of confusing shit. In the center of which are eight big fuckin’ shiny cylinders connected to all manner of glowy tubes and wires and crap. All of it pulsing with crackling blue-white light and ‘lectricity. Fuckin’ great. The Thorne girl does something stupid, I know, big shock, and turns on the party – firing off all manner of hocus-pokus. Voices in our heads coming out of the nowhere. More folk trying to beat one-another. Weird ass mental storms sweeping the chamber and frying everyone’s brains. Minotaurs? Fuck me! We finally figure out that the shiny silver cylinders are filled with old psychic brain soup that are causing all the rampant crap. Smashing the cylinders – with the accompanying spraying and dripping goo – weakens the brain attacks and allows us to incapacitate those folks that have been brain dominated and smash further cylinders. Finally, all of them are smashed and we are all plum fuckin’ beat.

It would appear that this complex is some fuckin’ Ancient bio-engineering, brain mutant making, laboratory. The fuckers intentionally hooked up a bunch of fuckin’ brains to try to make some massive fucked up brain beast. Fuck me. That went well. After all the smoke cleared we were able to find some interesting doo-dads and geegaws. Fuck if I know what they do but they are probably dangerous. But just maybe we can find some fuckin’ clues as to what the DOE was up to elsewhere.



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